before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
