Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
