dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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