I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
