"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Swine flu is the new snow day.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
