Im at strip club and am horny
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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