Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
two words: eviction party
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
