I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Boobs speak an international language.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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