mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize