Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
