you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
