how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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