I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh god it's open bar.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
