i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
