My sheets look like a crime scene.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
