Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
