Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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