Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
