I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
