I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize