Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize