So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
