i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
