is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
