i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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