You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
