What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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