I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
