Your tits are I can't wait for
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
