All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
