Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
