my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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