It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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