I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize