Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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