God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
