Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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