hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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