Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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