I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
