she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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