so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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