puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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