I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
