Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize