she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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