he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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