I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
