oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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