so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
