we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
