absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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