i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
