i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize