"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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