I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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