Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
