the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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