I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
