he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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